I always though in order to be white trash you had to be dirt poor. Turns out I was wrong. After all, is there anything more white trash than the Hogan family? (Sorry Britney, they even out white trash you.)

There is enough scandal and weirdness with this family to keep a celebrity writer in material constantly. A nasty divorce, nasty arrest and nasty boob job keep this family going. And as with all celebrity stars who are famous for just being famous, this crew has no internal sensor when it comes to dishing the dirt on themselves and each other.

Since it’s been about three seconds since anything scandalous has happened in this dysfunctional family, the Hulkster himself has decided to once again wax poetic on his divorce and soon to be ex wife, Linda. In a chat with US magazine, the wrestler discusses Linda, whom he considers his toughest opponent ever. “Without a doubt, this one is the most formidable opponent I’ve ever run into. You talk about dirty tricks: Brass knuckles, steel knuckles, cheap shots, tripping people up. I’ve never seen anybody in the wrestling business that has more dirty tricks than she does! I guess I taught her well.”

Youch! Bitter much? Linda filed for divorce a few months back after 23 years of marriage. She is currently dating a 20 year old former classmate of daughter Brooke, while the Hulk himself is seeing Jennifer McDaniel, a Brooke look alike. No wonder the Hogan daughter is so messed up.

In the meantime, Brooke herself has spoken out about rumors that she failed to visit brother, Nick on his 18^th birthday. Nick is currently in the slammer serving time on a DUI that resulted in the serious injury of his passenger. On her blog she goes off on the media, calling them jerks and generally bitching about them.

“Hey Media! Why don’t you gather facts, check them, and then give the public the truth? That might work. Oh no…I forgot. You make too much money telling LIES. Needless to say, I WAS there for my brother on his birthday because he is my best friend and NOTHING comes before family.”

Hey Brooke, ever hear the one about biting the hand that feeds you?

Move over Joe Simpson. You are no longer the world’s creepiest Dad. While your unnerving dedication to daughter Jessica’s boobage is disturbing, it seems some has one upped you. And who is the new creepiest dad of the year? If you guessed Hulk Hogan, you guessed right.

Looks like when Brooke Hogan needs help with her suntan oil, Daddy Hulk is more than willing to help out. He’ll rub it on her back for her. Her shoulders. Hell, he’ll help her oil up even if it means rubbing up her butt. Pictures from a few months ago have resurfaced of the Hulkster spearing suntan oil on daughter Brooke’s ample behind. I know, gives me the willies too. I mean, dude, that’s your daughter!

And to add to the gross factor, Hulk recently supervised Brooke’s photo shot for Maxim and says he approves of the pictures. For those of you not familiar with Maxim, it is a magazine for men too embarrassed to buy playboy. In most of the pics Brooke is barely dressed and posed provocatively. Why she would want her father there during the shoot is beyond me. At twenty there really wasn’t any reason to have a chaperone present. Seems Daddy just wanted to see the what’s what.

In response to the general reaction of “ew” to the suntan photos, Brooke has decided to speak out. She tells US Weekly “I know I’m a grown woman, but it’s like he’s touching an old car. He used to change my diaper.” Well, my Dad used to change my diapers, too. But now that I’m a grown woman he doesn’t even like to see me in a tank top. I can’t imagine any situation, except maybe having been shot in the ass where my Dad would be willing to touch my bum. As it should be.

Poor Nick Hogan. How come everyone keeps picking on him? He did nothing wrong, after all. Sure, he was drag racing while under the influence of alcohol and crashed his car, but he wasn’t to blame! It was the other driver, Daniel Jacobs fault. Oh yeah, and it was John Graziano’s fault too. Just ask him,. He’ll back Nick’s version up. Wait, he’s in a coma as a result of the crash. So, umm, yeah, it’s totally his fault!

According to documents obtained by TMZ Nick and his lawyers claim that everyone except for Nick, of course, is responsible for the crash. What were you doing when it happened? Most likely you somehow helped caused the crash.

TMZ states:

We’ve obtained his [Nick Hogan’s] response to the civil lawsuit that John’s family filed against the Hogans, and it’s outrageous: Nick blames virtually every person on the planet — including John himself and Daniel Jacobs, the guy whom he drag-raced to cause the crash in the first place — but doesn’t take a shred of responsibility of his own.
Let’s just list the ways that Nick says John put himself in danger: Not wearing a seatbelt, not getting out of the car, getting into the car in the first place.

So, if I get into the passanger seat of a car and, say the driver is smashed and driving way too fast and crashes, then it’s my fault? Good to know. I gues if I were to get shot it wouldn’t be the shooter’s fault, but rather mine for getting in the way of the bullet.

Nick really needs to maybe step up and be a man. Pay John’s family. After all, it’s not like you don’t have any money. And claiming it was the fault of the guy in the coma? Not so good for your image, Nick. And with Brooke as a sister? You really can’t afford to lose any points.