Okay, I must have been really horrible in a former life. I’m talking puppy killer bad. I mean, how else could the release of yet another craptastic single from Heidi Montag be explained? Now, before I puked over this, I thought I should give the song a listen. Maybe she had sold her soul to the Devil and all of a sudden had talent. If she did, she might want a refund.

This song is well, horrible. Reminiscent of the worst early 80s synthesized pop, the concept of the song is how much Heidi likes clothes. Huh. You wouldn’t’ be able to tell with some of the get ups she wears. So the lyrics are so unbelievably bad that I giggled listening to the song. Here is just a sample of them:

I am, I’m too fabulous
I’m so fierce that it’s so nuts
I live, to be model thin
Dress me, I’m your mannequin

But I think the highlight of the song for me is Heidi saying the names of a bunch of designers in a fake French accent. Sounds like something you might do at a party after a bottle and a half of wine.

I don’t even understand why in the Hell she recorded and release another song. Does she not remember the world wide gag-fest her previous songs created? I thought for sure she would just go back to being a publicity seeking reality no talent. But that would have made sense. No, Ms. Montag has decided to give her music career another go.

And it’s gearing up to be quite the career. According to People, “Heidi has started her own record label with Super Producer RedOne. RedOne will write and produce with Heidi an entire album of 13 songs.” A word to the wise: if you have to start your own record company because no one else will sign you, your music is probably crap.