I always though in order to be white trash you had to be dirt poor. Turns out I was wrong. After all, is there anything more white trash than the Hogan family? (Sorry Britney, they even out white trash you.)

There is enough scandal and weirdness with this family to keep a celebrity writer in material constantly. A nasty divorce, nasty arrest and nasty boob job keep this family going. And as with all celebrity stars who are famous for just being famous, this crew has no internal sensor when it comes to dishing the dirt on themselves and each other.

Since it’s been about three seconds since anything scandalous has happened in this dysfunctional family, the Hulkster himself has decided to once again wax poetic on his divorce and soon to be ex wife, Linda. In a chat with US magazine, the wrestler discusses Linda, whom he considers his toughest opponent ever. “Without a doubt, this one is the most formidable opponent I’ve ever run into. You talk about dirty tricks: Brass knuckles, steel knuckles, cheap shots, tripping people up. I’ve never seen anybody in the wrestling business that has more dirty tricks than she does! I guess I taught her well.”

Youch! Bitter much? Linda filed for divorce a few months back after 23 years of marriage. She is currently dating a 20 year old former classmate of daughter Brooke, while the Hulk himself is seeing Jennifer McDaniel, a Brooke look alike. No wonder the Hogan daughter is so messed up.

In the meantime, Brooke herself has spoken out about rumors that she failed to visit brother, Nick on his 18^th birthday. Nick is currently in the slammer serving time on a DUI that resulted in the serious injury of his passenger. On her blog she goes off on the media, calling them jerks and generally bitching about them.

“Hey Media! Why don’t you gather facts, check them, and then give the public the truth? That might work. Oh no…I forgot. You make too much money telling LIES. Needless to say, I WAS there for my brother on his birthday because he is my best friend and NOTHING comes before family.”

Hey Brooke, ever hear the one about biting the hand that feeds you?

In yet another attention seeking bid, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt of The Hills have come up with a stellar idea. They’re heading to Iraq! Seems Speidi wants to go overseas and perform for the American troops. Exactly what they will perform is still up in the air.

In an interview with Extra, Montag gives the reasons for the journey. Her step brother Eric O’Hara fought overseas. He died in an accident this past March at the Steamboat Springs, Colorado Hotel. “My brother was an airborne ranger in Afghanistan and Iraq. It’s very important to me and important to Spencer to support the troops and go over there.” Heidi has been seen hanging out more and more with presidential candidate John McCain’s daughter, and apparently Heidi and Spencer think that this friendship can put them on their way to the Middle East and yet another tacky publicity stunt.

“I think Meghan McCain is helping organize Heidi and our Iraq trip,” Spender tells Extra. “Her dad definitely has some pull with the military. I think she’s going to put that together for us.” Of course she is Spencer! And I’m sure her Dad will drop everything to make sure you two get to go over and show your support to the troops. After all, it’s not like he’s trying to win a presidential race or anything. Self centered much?

And seriously, they want to perform for the troops? Don’t you need talent for that? As far as I’ve seen neither can carry a tune in a bucket. Maybe they’ll just stand on stage and hurl insults at each other. Seems to be the only talent they possess.

And I just have one thing to say to the troops: friendly fire CAN involve civilians.

Well ,the rumor mills is working over time trying to decide if Nicole Richie is pregnant again or brawling in Vegas. Some reports coming out of Hollywood state that it looks like Richie may have bun number two in the oven. Yet in the middle of these baby questions, it seems Nicole may have been caught brawling in Vegas after a night of partying. If this is the case, it may help to put the baby rumors to rest. Of course, it could be possible that she’s pregnant and fighting and her next public appearance will be on the Jerry Springer Show.

When Nicole was spotted wearing a flowing lilac “maternity style” top, people started wondering if she was expecting again. According to one onlooker “The top was not something Nicole usually wears. She ordinarily goes for tight T-shirts and vest tops. The other unusual thing was that she was wearing comfy sheepskin boots and not her usual heels - the boots definitely looked like something a pregnant woman would wear.”

So apparently in Hollywood if you decide not to dress like a hooker for once, you’re pregnant? Wow. Guess if I was in Hollywood I would have been pregnant for, oh, the past 25 years or so. Did you ever think that maybe she was having a bad style day? Or actually a good style day? Or she was having a fat day and felt that she looked like she weighed more than 80 pounds. Or, yes, she may be pregnant. But didn’t she kinda where hootchie mamma outfits when pregnant with Harlow?

Pregnant or not, it seems Ms. Richie may have been caught in a slight snafu in Las Vegas while waiting for valet parking. According to eye witness reports (and we know how reliable they can be) Nicole got into an argument with a woman while both were waiting for their cars outside Hard Rock Hotel.

One onlooker said, “Nicole started fighting with this woman while they were both waiting for the valet to bring round their cars. She ended up being so rowdy that she was escorted off the property by security.”

According to Nicole’s peeps, this is totally untrue. “Nicole was in Las Vegas but there wasn’t an altercation of any kind involving her.”

Apparently in a bid to have the American public like her (fat chance) Heather Mills wants to be the next Celebrity Apprentice. Yes, the ex Mrs. McCartney thinks that appearing on the show may make the US hate her less. I guess she figures she hasn’t a hope in Hell of making the Brits like her, so she concentrating on winning over the Americans. Lucky us.

Honestly, I thought we had gotten rid of her once she was booted off of Dancing with the Stars. I was hoping she’d greedily grab all the money she siphoned out of Paul, head back to the UK and stay there. But I guess villagers with torches chased her away and now she is settling in New York ready to take on North America.

The next installment of Celebrity Apprentice is scheduled to begin filming in four weeks and it is usually around this time that the rumors about who will be in it start flying. According to the Trumpster himself, “Because The Apprentice did so well last time around, lots of people want to be on it. Including Heather Mills. We start shooting in four weeks. The names will be revealed then.”

Why she wants to keep putting herself in the limelight is beyond my comprehension. And is she really a celebrity? Sure, she was a model, but come on: she’s famous for being married to one of the Beatles and then severely screwing him over.

Rumored to have been a royal pain in the butt on Dancing with the Stars, according to a report in the Chicago Sun Times, the big suits at NBC aren’t all that thrilled at the prospect of having Heather on the Apprentice. So maybe we’ll be lucky and spared anymore of her hissy fits. I wonder if Mills realizes any winnings have to be given to charity and that as pathetic as her claims to stardom are, she doesn’t qualify as one.

Okay, I must have been really horrible in a former life. I’m talking puppy killer bad. I mean, how else could the release of yet another craptastic single from Heidi Montag be explained? Now, before I puked over this, I thought I should give the song a listen. Maybe she had sold her soul to the Devil and all of a sudden had talent. If she did, she might want a refund.

This song is well, horrible. Reminiscent of the worst early 80s synthesized pop, the concept of the song is how much Heidi likes clothes. Huh. You wouldn’t’ be able to tell with some of the get ups she wears. So the lyrics are so unbelievably bad that I giggled listening to the song. Here is just a sample of them:

I am, I’m too fabulous
I’m so fierce that it’s so nuts
I live, to be model thin
Dress me, I’m your mannequin

But I think the highlight of the song for me is Heidi saying the names of a bunch of designers in a fake French accent. Sounds like something you might do at a party after a bottle and a half of wine.

I don’t even understand why in the Hell she recorded and release another song. Does she not remember the world wide gag-fest her previous songs created? I thought for sure she would just go back to being a publicity seeking reality no talent. But that would have made sense. No, Ms. Montag has decided to give her music career another go.

And it’s gearing up to be quite the career. According to People, “Heidi has started her own record label with Super Producer RedOne. RedOne will write and produce with Heidi an entire album of 13 songs.” A word to the wise: if you have to start your own record company because no one else will sign you, your music is probably crap.

It seems the on again off again friendship of the two Coreys – Corey Feldman and Corey Haim – may be off again after an explosive argument on the season premiere of The Two Coreys.

The flailing reality TV show kicked off it’s second season with both stars claiming to have been sexually abused in their teens. During an argument between the two Haim claims that Feldman didn’t help him while he was being abused. “You let me get f*****d around in my life. Raped, so to speak, when I was 14 and a half, by a guy you still hang out with.” Right after Haim drop this bombshell Feldman shoots back that he, too, was being abused by a different man at the same time. “I was being molested at the same time by someone else. What did you do?” The two continue to fight, with Haim ending the argument by saying that he no longer wanted to be friends with Feldman.

I’m not sure how believable the possible split is since it happened on the first episode of this season. The basis of the show is the two of them deciding if they want to renew their friendship after not talking for six months. Both executive producers for the show, I’m willing to bet they work things out. It kind of takes some of the oomph out of the fight knowing that there is about 21 episodes following.

And as for whether or not the two stay friends, does anyone really care? The two stars, who had a sting of hits together in the 80s, have desperately been trying to get back into the limelight. But it’s kind of sad that they way they have decided to do it is not by starring in amazing movies, but rather by airing out their dirty laundry on TV.

Seriously, is there anybody Lindsay won’t hook up with? With rumors about her sexual orientation and her close relationship with DJ Samantha Ronson running rampant, another relationship involving Lindsay has been revealed. Bobby Brown’s son Langdon, cashing in on the 15 minutes of fame he’s owed due to his stint on MTV’s Rock the Cradle, has announced that he had, well, relations with Miss Lohan – in a bathroom.

According to Langdon,

“Me and Lindsay got really, really close. She followed me to the bathroom during a private party, and, well, we basically got together. I think she knew who I was when she first saw me.”

Um, she probably had no idea who you were, Langdon, but figured it isn’t often that she comes across someone she hasn’t slept with. It was private party, so you had to be someone minimally important. Fresh meat in the eyes of LaLohan.

Langdon goes on to say that

“We were just staring at each other and she waked by. I walked into the bathroom and she followed me in.”

Wow, sounds like lust at first sight to me. Or maybe Lilo was so smashed she thought she was in the women’s bathroom. And isn’t Mr. Brown quite the gentleman? Now I understand that if you do Lindsay in the bathroom of a private party, you’d want to tell the guys about it, but the media? Kinda skanky isn’t it? And disrespectful. But then again, if you’re a big name star and you’re servicing second rate celebrities in bathrooms I guess you can’t really expect for your privacy to be respected.

Langdon then goes on to state that the pair dated for a bit before splitting up. And apparently he’d love to get back together with her.

“It didn’t end badly, but it did end weird. I’m actually trying to get back in touch with her - really soon.”

Sounds like a booty call to me. Or else Langdon can hear the tick tocking of his 15 minutes winding down.

Well it seems that Tila Tequila is dishing out advice. And why not? As the star of that wonderful reality TV show A Shot of Love With Tila Tequila, where she chooses which man or woman she wants to pretend to be in love with, she probably has oodles of advice to give the lovelorn. Ms Tequila spouted the following words of wisdom at the MTV movie awards while her and her boobs were being interviewed by Us magazine:

“I think that the fact that everyone knows about it makes it fine.  Just go all out with it! If you’re going to do something, do it all out.”

Wow, great advice Tila! So, just having everyone know about something makes it fine? You know, there’s this pesky neighbour I have. Maybe I’ll kill him, tell everyone and it’s be fine! No jail time for me! Yay!

And who exactly was this advice for? Reported lesbian couple Lyndsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson who were seen kissing last week sparking a flurry of gay rumours. I guess Tila realized her 15 minutes were just about over and decided to jump on the lesbian bandwagon, throwing in her two cents worth. Okay, well, her one cent worth. I wonder why she decided to speak up on this issue? Could it be because she is planning on writing Hooking Up with Tila Tequila, a self-help book? I hope it comes with anitbiotics.

Well, I’m sure that now that they have the approval of Tila all will be well in Lilo land. Her and Sam can go ahead and start planning that big wedding. Hey, I know! Tila can be the maid of honor. Or at least the one jumping out of the cake at the bachelorette party.